He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
