but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
