You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You are the jesus of drinking
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
