you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
