Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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