so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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