i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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