bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
