She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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