Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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