Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
