2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
