I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
