just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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