I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
