all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Church boner. Awkwardddd
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
