i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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