we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
