Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
