2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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