My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I came so hard my ears popped.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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