dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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