Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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