So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
