he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
