new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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