The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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