I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
