Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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