Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
