he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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