Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This baby is an asshole
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
