hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
