her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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