It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
