So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
