So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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