I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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