ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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