I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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