AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
