Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
