i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
