Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
