i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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