yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize