his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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