you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize