i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
