Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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