Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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