how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
