I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize