don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
