I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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