Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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