Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
