I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
