i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My room smells like vodka and shame
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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