I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We are all done wearing pants today
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
