How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
