You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
