I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
