do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
