I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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