Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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