I wish I only lived at night.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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