Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
