i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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