I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
